The ICC cricket world cup begins tomorrow and it’s time to take a not so serious look at the ins and outs of a cricket tournament that takes way too long.
This year being hosted by Australia and New Zealand (The Kiwis have no idea how they got to be co-hosts either), the world cup will be played across six weeks, with very few people taking notice until the finals start.
Australia have been installed as firm favourites because, quite simply, they have three Mitches, a Mo O’Doom and a Faulkner.
They’re the hosts and ranked number one in the world. Anything less than another world cup and they’ll be ranked alongside the South Africans for choking ability.
Captain Michael Clarke has already been ruled out of the first match against England due to his ongoing hamstring injury.
The captain’s omission robs us of another chance for him to warn James Anderson of impending physical harm from Mitchell Johnson.
Glenn Maxwell has surprisingly hit some form in the lead up matches. He seems to be channeling his level headed alter ego, Max Glennwell. Let’s hope Max continues to appear at the crease.
There’s also the prospect of David Warner being accused of being a racist bogan when asking an opponent to speak English.
England captain Eoin Morgan continues the English captaincy tradition of being severely out of form whilst proceeding to goad Australian fast bowlers.
The Irish born, English captain said that Mitchell Johnson wasn’t a factor when they faced off at the WACA earlier in the summer, despite Johnson taking three top order wickets and triggering an English batting collapse.
There seems to be some credibility to Morgan’s words given no Englishman retired after the match. A slight improvement on their last visit to Australian shores.
The English (or International XI, their selection criteria seems to be pretty relaxed) have been in pretty poor form. They should still attract crowds even if the majority of the crowd is simply there to yell out “Stuart Broad is a sh*t bloke.”
The Indians have continued their inability to play in Australia, winning just one match since arriving on the continent against the cricketing powerhouse of Afghanistan.
We await the first DRS controversy for the Indians to turn around and say that it shouldn’t be used in the first place.
New Zealand meanwhile are quietly going about their business in the hope that nobody notices them until the knockout stages.
The South Africans are ranked close to Australia as possible world champions.
The world number one chokers will surely, at one point stuff up a run chase or drop a catch, prompting plenty of Australians to remind them that they’ve “just dropped the world cup”.
As always, the overused word, “minnows” will be overused when say Ireland manages to upset India.