With plenty of Australians in action around the world this past week, it’s time to take a not so serious look at their achievements.
1. The weekend saw the conclusion of the V8 Supercars season with Jamie Whincup doing, ahhh, what his last name says… winning cups. The Red Bull driver took out his sixth V8 Championship after the final race was washed out. Organisers at the Sydney Olympic Park say that they’ll be reviewing the course for next year and making use of the Aquatic Centre in order to include a swim lane.
Photo: Whincup puts the “Red Bull gives you wings” slogan to the test.
2. Continuing with motor racing and Toyota announced that they’d be joining the V8 Supercars series next year after organisers granted use of hybrid engines. Toyota have said they can’t wait to unveil their new look Prius in it’s race kit. Along with the use of hybrid engines, the V8 Supercars will also look to include drive-thru cafes along the circuit to allow the Prius drivers to stop in and buy their rainforest alliance, soy, decaf lattes.
3. To boxing/rugby league and Paul Gallen and Willie Mason won their respective bouts. Gallen’s opponent, former Cowboy Anthony Watts decided he’d rather pop out his own shoulder than face a fired up Gallen who seemed to be taking out all his frustrations in the ring. Robbie Farah has said he’d look forward to fighting Watts in his next bout. Mason, on the other hand, mistakenly took the rotund Ben Tameifuna for George Rose. The Sea Eagles prop expected Tameifuna to come out swinging in the first two rounds before sitting against the ropes, waiting to get subbed. The former All Black though seemed to get the better of Mason, even if the judges awarded the former Novocastrian the win. The benefits of playing for Manly already seem to be paying off for Mason.
Photo: Gallen introduces Watts to his famous jab. Better known as the Myles left hand.
4. The Australian Olympic Committee announced that they would accept the late night scheduling of the swimming finals for the 2016 Rio Olympics. A spokesman for the swim team announced that they would simply have to change the swimmers’ supplements program, swapping out Stilnox for No-Doze.
Photo: James Magnussen is all smiles hearing that he’ll be given No-Doze at the next Olympics.
5. Former Parramatta Eels fullback, Jarryd Hayne has reportedly met with members of the San Francisco 49ers coaching staff. Whilst discussions would only be preliminary, it’s a further step in the right direction for Hayne. With quarterback, Colin Kaepernick in a terrible form slump, if they see Hayne throw a ball anywhere near accurately, he could find himself in the middle of the huddle, calling the plays.
Photo: Jarryd Kaepernick?
6. In the first cricket test of the summer, Australia are well on top at 7/517 following Day 2. Before the match, Indian captain Virat Kohli said he’d be aggressive and look for wickets. David Warner saw that as a challenge and proceeded to despatch Kohli’s aggressive fast bowlers for more than 30 runs in the first three overs. Kohli then went to the tried and tested regulation field settings and hoped for the Australian batsmen to get themselves out. Rogers obliged followed by the customary wicket of Shane Watson who forgot he was no longer playing ODI cricket and nicked to the slips. Warner blazed his way to a century before Steve Smith fidgeted his way to three figures. Michael Clarke then limped his way to a ton sans a lower back and hamstrings.
Photo: Clarke celebrates his ton as Australia shows the Indians that just saying you’re going to be aggressive doesn’t cut it.
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